Why So Many Men Feel Lost After 40

Most people have heard of menopause. Far fewer have heard of andropause, the gradual decline in testosterone that affects many men as they move through their 40s and 50s. While it’s often dismissed as “just getting older” or “just stress,” the impact can be far-reaching, affecting energy levels, confidence, relationships, motivation, and overall well-being. On the BIWE Podcast, James Davis, co-founder of Midlife Mentors and author of The Midlife Male Handbook, shared why this conversation deserves far more attention.

James Davis

The Midlife Change Many Men Don’t Recognize

Unlike menopause, which occurs over a relatively short period, testosterone declines gradually over time. According to James, by the time many men reach their forties or fifties, testosterone levels may be 30–50% lower than they were in their twenties.

Because the change happens slowly, many men simply assume they’re tired because of work, family responsibilities, or ageing.

Instead, they may be experiencing symptoms associated with andropause.

Common Signs of Andropause

James highlighted several signs that are often overlooked:

• Persistent fatigue

• Increased belly fat

• Reduced confidence

• Low motivation

• Anxiety

• Difficulty concentrating

• Lower libido

Recognising these changes is often the first step toward addressing them.

Why High-Performing Men Often Burn Out

Working with leaders at organisations including Google, Shell, and KPMG, James has noticed a common pattern.

Rather than asking for help, many successful men try to push harder.

Instead of slowing down to understand what is happening, they work longer hours, ignore the warning signs, and hope things improve on their own.

According to James, that approach often leads to burnout rather than better performance.

Three Daily Habits That Can Make a Difference

James recommends focusing on simple, consistent habits rather than dramatic lifestyle changes.

Move your body. Regular movement supports physical and hormonal health.

Practice gratitude or a spiritual routine. Whether through prayer, gratitude, or meditation, taking time to reset your mindset can have a positive impact on mental wellbeing.

Build meaningful relationships. Genuine human connection remains one of the most powerful contributors to long-term health and happiness.

Therapy or Coaching?

One of the questions explored during the conversation was whether men should seek therapy or coaching.

James explained that while therapy often focuses on understanding the past and uncovering the roots of long-standing challenges, coaching and mentoring are more future-focused, helping people create a roadmap toward the life they want to build.

Both have value—the right choice depends on the individual’s needs.

It’s Never Too Late

James ended the conversation with a simple but powerful reminder.

“It’s never too late.”

Whether someone is struggling with their health, confidence, relationships, or sense of purpose, meaningful change doesn’t begin with one dramatic decision.

It begins with one small step, taken consistently.

Listen to the Full Conversation

Hear the full interview with James Davis on the BIWE Podcast, where he shares practical insights on andropause, men’s mental health, discipline, and building a healthier, more fulfilling second half of life.